Of my mistakes and you

I don't remember our last kiss;
I hardly have a faint of our first.

Either way, I keep you inside myself and you're deeper in my mind.
For a time, I had prohibited myself to think or remember you; I wasn't allowed to. It wasn't good for me and giving it a thought, still remains bad.
I shouldn't be thinking of you in ways, in all the ways and times how only you could make me feel. But here I am: Wishing for you. No, wanting you.
I desire you.
But not as those memorable times I already had, not anymore. I desire you desire me as you never had before: I want you to be confused and thrilled about it, thinking of me in the sweetest and kinkiest forms... I want you to feel as I ache inside you, as you crave for me. As I hurt you feeling like I used to feel for you.

I want you to feel what I felt.
But I don't want you to have me and I don't want to have nothing with you.
Not anymore.